Giving Up Would Be Boring

So there I was sitting in my garden suffering from a cold with bronchitis, and allergies, plus the chronic pain I’ve been dealing with. It was getting late in season for planting, and I had to push through or this year’s veggie garden wasn’t going to happen.

I was like, “Why am I bothering? Why have I been struggling through all of this for the past few years? Why don’t I just give up?”

And that’s the answer that I came up with, “Because giving up would be boring.”

To be honest, I was catastrophizing a little bit.

I felt like, “A year ago I was on crutches, and now I’m practically bedbound. I’m going backward.”

But that wasn’t accurate framing. The truth was I was bedbound because of a cold, not due to a serious blow to my health. The bronchitis was already starting to clear, and I would be back to normal in just a few days.

Living with chronic pain feels like it will never end. And for most people, pain is accompanied by a feeling of “punishment” which over time can rewire neural pathways and feel like trauma.

In light of that, catastrophizing is understandable.

I managed to break that with, “Giving up would be boring. At least struggling and failing is engaging.”

Yet I didn’t fail! I managed to get everything planted with a little bit of help from my family.

One month later I’m really glad I did.

ICYMI a few months ago my nervous system became dysregulated. My doctor put me on meds, and I made down-regulating my nervous system my full-time job. I’m doing EVERYTHING from Tai Chi/qigong, to somatic shaking/ecstatic dance, to soundscapes and aroma therapy while I work.

During this time I’ve been off of social media. I think I’ve made enough progress to come back now.

I’m looking forward to catching up with everyone.

How have you been doing?

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This is the Somatic Layer of my coaching: Where your body, nervous system, and resilience become leadership assets.