This Wasn't Illness

I woke up feeling sick.
My stomach ached, I felt hot, and my lower back hurt.

I thought there was no way I could make it to my
Kobudo (traditional Okinawan weapons) class.

When I started to message my Sensei to tell him,
a wave of nausea hit me and my lower back tightened.
This was a clue that my symptoms were caused by stress, not illness.

I’ve been carrying a lot lately.
These are trying times in which to be a leader.

My Sensei and I have been training via video since he moved out of state,
so if I was wrong, he wouldn’t catch anything.

“I can make it to class!”

Instantly the nausea went away,
my body cooled, and my back released.

Polyvagal Cycle in Real Time
🔹 Test: My body asked, “Am I safe enough to move?”
🔹 Constriction: The vagus nerve tightened—gut offline (stomachache), energy pulled inward (heat), body braced (lower-back pain).
🔹 Spark: The disappointing thought of canceling with my Sensei deepened the stress response, enough to bring bodily sensation back online.
🔹 Decision: Choosing to attend class activated my deepest safety cues—movement, rhythm, and social.
🔹 Release: Nausea eased, body cooled, muscles softened. I didn’t override fear; I negotiated safety back into flow.

Later that day,
my client told me he had successfully kept his anxiety at bay
by stepping up his sports activities—
boxing all five weekday mornings and dancing two evenings.

The movement and social connection worked, though he still felt some brain fog.

I explained that it wasn’t failure;
it was the same polyvagal cycle I’d just experienced.

His body had cleared the stress hormones,
but neurotransmitters take longer to rebalance.
His brain was still catching up.

He said, “That’s much more empowering than ‘my brain is broken’.”

For leaders: What helps you shift from bracing to leading?

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The 21st Century needs ADHD Leaders.
If this is you, I want to support you.

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