Achieving North Star-ness

Performing Okay-ness can be brutal, suppressing your dysregulated nervous system while pretending everything is OK.

Faking-it-‘til-you-make-it is acting like you’re in a calm state you haven’t actually achieved yet, betting you’ll eventually fulfill it.

But achieving North Star-ness is genuine calmness when you’re no longer fighting yourself. And because humans have evolved to co-regulate, a calm leader can literally reset everyone’s nervous system.

I derived the term from this quote by Confucius, “The virtuous leader is like the North Star, remaining still while all the other stars revolve around it.”

Achieving North Star-ness is a learned skill. A great way to train it is to pick up a hobby that’s both scary and rewarding.

It can be physically frightening:

🔸 Martial arts, parkour, skateboarding
🔸 Climbing rocks, mountains, aerial parks
🔸 White water rafting/kayaking, skiing, scuba or free diving

Or it can be psychologically frightening:

🔸 Karaoke, open mic, stand-up comedy
🔸 Public speaking, debate clubs
🔸 Dance classes, West Coast Swing Jack and Jill competitions

Choose something available in your area that’s fun for you, because fun fuels your practice.

Martial arts is my favorite. With great skill and care my Senseis would routinely push me just past my limits, I would rise to the occasion, and now I had new limits.

➡️ Pretty soon at the restaurant I owned with my husband, there was no situation scarier than what I faced in a typical class. I’d be like, “Heh, class last Tuesday night was scarier than this.”

🟢 Bonus: Rising to do hard things is a path to Flow State.
🟢 Frequently entering Flow State leads to Eudaimonia.
🟢 And that’s what it means to Live an Enhanced Life.

How do you have scary fun?

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This is the Somatic Layer of my coaching: Where your body, nervous system, and resilience become leadership assets.

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The 21st century needs ADHD Leaders.
If this is you, I want to support you.

Soon I’ll have room for two new clients.
Watch this space.

Just curious?
Comment. DM me. Keep reading my posts.