With You Upon This Horse

A big influence on my leadership style was a scene from a Japanese historical drama TV show. I don’t know how historically accurate the scene was, but I loved the way it played out in the NHK production.

A young woman spent her entire inheritance on a very special horse for her husband, who was a low-ranking vassal of Lord Oda Nobunaga. This horse was called The Dragon Horse because he was a fiery red color and he had an almost supernatural intelligence in his eyes.

When Lord Oda heard about this, he sent for the couple to bring the horse to him.

Jump-cut to Lord Oda riding the horse in a ring while praising it, saying it was the best horse in all of Japan.

The couple watched nervously, probably thinking the same thing I was, “He’s going to keep the horse for himself.”

Lord Oda said, “I am going to look so good with you upon this horse.”

Wait, what?!

He continued, "When people see you, my vassal, sitting upon this magnificent horse, they will think such wonderful things about me.” Then he praised the wife for her wisdom of investing in the horse for her husband’s career.

The lesson: Secure leaders increase their status by elevating others.

It’s an inversion.
Suppressing someone’s superiority signals weakness
Supporting their superiority signals strength.

I applied this lesson when my husband and I owned our restaurant.
Whenever an employee outshined me, I polished their shine.

If a jealous thought entered my mind, I replaced it with, “I will look so good with them upon that horse.”

And it worked!

Who’s someone you’re proud to have “upon that horse”?

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This is the Philosophical Layer of my coaching—how ideas, ethics, and meaning shape leadership.

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